Earl Me Grey

Do you ever feel as though you're the only one on your wavelength? Think, radio frequency.
Maybe you say something and no one catches on, so you just keep it to yourself, in your head, the next time you think you want to say something out loud.

Do you ever feel as though you're drinking Earl Grey from a tea bag, while everyone else is caught up with the latest loose leaf tea blend named after a cosy Christmas feeling?

Sometimes, I don't even feel as though I'm from this time. I was born in the wrong century. Yet here I am, using a computer and completely dependant on my phone. So, what's the deal, world?

No matter how hard I try to catch on to current things going on around me, it always feels like I'm a little out of step. At this point, it's very hard to think something is NOT wrong with you. I mean, sure in Grade 4 you coloured a shield representing all the things you liked to do with stick figures (who are we kidding, I drew full portraits) of the people with whom you are closest, and the big letters on the bulletin board said, "I AM UNIQUE." But aside from that, doesn't it seem like there is some common binding force that bonds people, and most times, you're just not feeling the bonding force field?

Sometimes, the definition of being "unique" feels more like an imprisonment to a lonely world, rather than a celebration of differences. Sometimes, it can be hard to remember the elementary school lessons on why we should see the things that make us different as good things, not bad things. Even in my twenties, I forget these lessons some days.

But, I like Earl Grey. It's not that I don't like change, it's that I don't feel I need to keep up with the times, to feel good about myself. I operate on a different frequency, and that's okay. It doesn't make me less, or weird, or even how we often use the word, "different." It just makes me, me.

Maybe I was born in the wrong century, or maybe I'm just me.

Maybe I'm on another wavelength, or maybe I'm just me.

Maybe no one understood what I said, but that's just me.

Maybe I didn't feel the binding forcefield of being unique, or maybe... I'm just me.

Maybe I like Earl Grey, and maybe, that's just me.

Earl me grey.


Felicia 
xo

A Somewhat-Non-Revival?

Reviving the writer in you is sometimes hard to do. I took a break because of school, and I just couldn't afford to lose concentration, but there comes a point when I'm always called back to something I enjoy. 

If you're near me during school, you'll hear me repeatedly say, "I hate writing, I hate reading." I mean, how many of us claim to hate the things we're studying? We do them 24/7 and we study them because we enjoy it, but somehow we're still emulating hate all the time for it. Or I am at least. So, here's my confession. 

I don't hate writing. I love writing. I love making a mark on the page. I used to love copying lines because I could practice perfecting my handwriting. I love words. I love these black lines appearing as I type. It's so cool. That is such an understatement... But isn't it? 

Words give you this freedom. You're confined to using 26 letters of the alphabet, yet sometimes we still don't have the words to express a feeling. Other times, we have so many words we can't get them out fast enough. 

I love reading. I thought I hate it because of school, but I don't. I mean, why else did I have the urge to read the other day? I didn't even want to watch Friends, I just wanted to sit in bed and read. HOW RARE IS THAT FEELING NOWADAYS? Too bad I had studying to do though, right? But maybe I was scared. Scared that reading wouldn't pull me in the way it used to. 

Let's look at it. Are we scared of the things we love most? What if one day we just, stop loving those things and they don't interest us anymore? Am I the only one who's scared of this? What if you open a book, and it doesn't hold your attention? This book was a sanctuary to you, it was a whole other world to escape to, and it took your mind off of anything and everything. Through this book you were a hero, you were a villain, you were the princess you were the riddle-solver. You were unrelenting and flawed. 
But you were someone. 

I started this post about words and blogging and writing and reading. But really, it's about change and how change makes us lose the things we love, the things we feel comfortable with. It makes me feel lost, I think. Someone asked me what I'm interested in besides what I study and soccer, since that's what I play, and for a while I couldn't come up with an answer. Do I now know myself anymore? I can't process how I feel about it right now, the turmoil and anxiety this is giving me, so I'll jut leave it there for today. 

Google says that chamomile tea is calming but my stomach says that chamomile and I just aren't friends. So maybe this kind of answer, about change and all those things that make us anxious, maybe this answer we can't Google, or Wikipedia, or Ask.com. Maybe this one, we have to go with our gut feelings. Literally. 

--
Felicia

P.S. When I googled chamomile tea, 4/5 websites that I clicked suggested it was good for calming stomachaches, and 1/5 websites said people allergic to ragweed or something else can sometimes get a stomachache or rash from it since apparently they are distantly related. Just a fun fact. 

Two-Minute Tuesday!

Grab two minutes to indulge in a drink  (like candy cane hot chocolate and whipped cream) from your most reliable coffee shop (good ole' Timmies for me). 

Reliable coffee shops always provide us with the things we need when we need it. Like coffee before an essay is due. They're there for us when other things, ahem, no-money-on-my-sbucks-card, aren't. 

Good friends are like reliable coffee shops. They are the listening ear and lending hand when things get tough. They also offer advice for a lower cost (than say, your extra espresso shot venti latte with three syrup flavours). 

So when you take two minutes today to think about what's a reliable coffee shop for you, consider how you can be a reliable coffee shop to others. 

Felicia 

#SundaySnack

Confession: This isn't really a snack but we love efficiency and it's Sunday and tea is, essentially, a liquid snack... So, try reusing your tea leaves, especially if you grabbed one scoop too many when you were making tea for yourself. 

Tea leaves can be used a few times, especially loose tea leaves that I've always found to be stronger than tea bags or sachets. 

Of course, this isn't a fact or anything just an experiment conducted safely in my kitchen with a little taste-testing. So don't take my word for it. But my grandpa always does this so, it must be a thing, right? 

Metaphor? Get the most out of what makes you happy. Like tea. Even if there's no scientific proof behind it. Or because you're on a student budget. Like me. 

Fresh Fruit Friday!

We're starting something new! Since expanding to a lifestyle blog, rather than just metaphors every single post, we're going to be sharing our favourite fresh fruits on Fridays, including recipes and creative ways to include fruit in your daily snacks. 

We love fresh fruit and we've heard that it's better to eat it in the morning, you know, before you go snacking on all the leftover Halloween candy. 

Not that we're professional dietitians or anything. 

But, we do know (think, believe, Wikipedia'd) that fresh fruit has more vitamins than dried fruit, so ditch your dried mangos (who likes those? It feels like chewing on someone's ear...) and grab some fresh fruit before you head out the door. Today, we're loving pomegranate and blackberries! 

We've also seen some cool new (okay it's been around for a while but like, new to us) pomegranate teas. Have you ever opened a tea sachet to see what's inside? But that's not fresh fruit so like, another post for another day. 

Happy Friday! 

The Bitter Tea Memory

You'll never forget that one time you drank bitter tea with a meal, then spent the entire night on the bathroom floor. And ever since then, you could never drink that one bitter flavour tea ever again, because it made you puke your guts.. bad memories.. (Well, the food probably did, but memory by association right?)

One of the things that conjures bad memories for me like the bad tea, and brings back that anxiety is passing a few girls from high school who instigated and were involved in the outrageous cyber and in-person bullying I experienced. Now before you close this post and assume its 'just another awareness-thing-and-personal-story-on-bullying' please know my focus, rather than raising awareness, although important, is to try and connect with you, my readers. (This is a heavy topic that is close to my heart and a very personal experience, which previously, I have only shared with my closest friends. Please respect my story, and my sharing of it, with only good intentions.) 

Unlike my previous posts, I offer no advice in this, except the following which I feel, though obvious, is necessary to say and is easier said than done: I regret that I didn't ask for help from a parent, teacher or someone with authority at the time, but my hope is that you do seek help, even if you think you can handle it yourself. We all have our time to be independent in due course, but this isn't a Superwoman-only problem. 

Back to bad memories. 

So I was 16 years old, "seeing" a guy before dating him, and the milestone was hit: someone returned my LIKE LIKE feelings after all those lonely years. Big deal for a teenage girl, #amiright? 

First, I was attacked online through Facebook messages, by his ex-girlfriend, his ex-rebound-hook-ups, and their friends. Wholly immature (C'mon, girls, grow up!), inappropriate, jealousy-driven, and unnecessary, but by this day and age, the cyber (online) bullying I faced was not as surprising as it should be for something so widely talked about and unaccepted. 

Second, it moved to in-person + online bullying. Blocking them on Facebook could stop the messages, but not their physical presence. Waiting around my locker or classrooms to talk about me and my new boyfriend, purposely trying to get on my nerves. Finding other ways to send messages fabricating stories about issues with him, which of course, scared the wits out of me. And I mean more scared than I am of scary movies. I was terrified of running into them every day. 

For a girl who could speak her mind since fourth grade without a care in the world, I had suddenly lost the words to stand up for myself. 

After two years of enduring this bullying throughout high school, university felt like the biggest relief to be freed of the torment. Bigger and better things, right?! I didn't realize it would follow me, despite the fact these girls were still in high school. Running into them at McDonald's, in the mall, I'd always think, "Yep, just my luck I'm running into them, even now." *sigh* 

Beyond the fact that these girls were originally associated with this boyfriend, even after he and I were no longer together, passing them in the mall or at the grocery store by chance still inflicts the anxiety and fear from over 5 years ago. 

To this day. 

What makes me sad is that even now, talking about it, writing about it, just like bringing up the bad, bitter tea memory, I realize it is an important part of my teenage years that I have not yet overcome. It still bothers me. I can't seem to let go of it yet. My stomach still drops, my heart beat is still too fast, and my chest is too constricted in fear for me to know if I have forgiven them yet. 

Maybe talking about it will help me work through these bad memories, and find it in me to forgive and look past the bullying I endured. Maybe it won't happen for a while. Maybe, sharing my story will help me see that I was the 'bigger person' by not reciprocating. But am I? 

I do know this: The "Mean Girls" world is very, very real. And that's not a good thing. And having the perspective to see the terrifying truth of this in my twenties now, I think it scares me most thinking about how long and how far girls will go to break the heart and soul of those whom they are jealous.

If you haven't experienced this it may sound like I'm making a mountain or of a molehill, something common that every teenage girl goes through. But if you have experienced something similar, you'll know it's a molehill that IS an unavoidable mountain, that constantly impedes on your life, and it shouldn't be common, accepted, or overlooked. 

Metaphor: Bad tea by association leaves you with a bitter taste in your mouth, but one day you will be able to break the association and leave those memories in the past. And enjoy your tea. I believe that one day I will reach the point that I can pass those girls, and though I won't forget, I will not have the same reactions (the tea's bitter taste) as I once did. 

I haven't figured out how, but in the meantime, I'll add a little sugar to my tea and focus on the things that I love and make me feel loved, not worrying about the bitter bullies of the past. 

Felicia 

xx

Be thankful for coffee pots.

What are you thankful for? 

On our first Thanksgiving as bloggers, we're thankful for those who inspire us to continue writing, whether it be our friends who we guilt into clicking this link, or the lemons towards whom we have bitter feelings, who actually inspired the beginnings of Lemon Your Life. 

Take a look at part of this painting I created in the sunshine and cold weather yesterday. It's a metaphor, of course. Each person in our chaotic lives has a part, and contributes to the bigger painting that is our lives. We're thankful for each person represented by these paint specks, whether they're the big blob of paint that took forever to dry, or the tiny speck you can barely see. 

Okay you're probably thinking, what a cheeseball this metaphor is, so here's a caffeinated thought for the day:

When you're passing around the pumpkin pie (Cool Whip, anyone?) this weekend, make sure you ask who wants a coffee or a tea as well. Then make a enough for everyone. Coffee pots were made for sharing you know. 

Happy Thanksgiving, turkey friends! 

Felicia 

xx

Tea Time Well Spent

You know how some days you walk in your front door after a long day, and just look forward to sitting on the couch, maybe open up Netflix (I'm just guessing that's what people do, I don't even have a Netflix account), and eat nachos and salsa? Then you're like, wait it's Saturday, I'm supposed to be with people and not in my house, being lonely right now? Isn't that a waste of time? Here are my thoughts.

Sometimes, we just need to be alone.

Spending time with "me, myself and I" (no, not me, you! Just... Okay, just say it out loud and you'll get it) is, sometimes, all the cups of tea we need.

Think of it like this. We spend our whole day around other people (maybe you don't, but just play along). Quite a bit of our time is spent in the eyes of other people. I mean, when we get dressed in the morning, it's great to champion the whole "personal-style-rocks-so-I-don't-care-what-people-think" mentality, but most times, professional and presentable is what stops us from wearing pink leggings and a green shirt. Watermelon, anyone?
But in all seriousness, we do spend a lot of time considering how others view us. So don't you think for one night at least, we deserve to just pull on pajamas that don't match, and watch old seasons of Big Brother? (a shameless addiction of mine, I'll admit).

Cliché? Yes, perhaps. But hey, if that's good enough for you, go, by all means and grab those pjs. (But please, shower or something first and wash off that dirt from the day!)

If not, here's my second way to think of it:
How many of you are particular about the cup you use for tea or coffee? Me too. There's only a certain few I'll drink coffee from, and likewise with tea. And BOY, DOES IT MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO HAVE YOUR FAVE MUG OR CUP. (That's also called attitude, but I didn't take more than Psychology 1000 so I'm just going to suggest that it exists in my head and not claim fact). Unfortunately, these tea cups are usually pretty small, and today I just *had* to have my tea from the small cup. You'll also remember my very first post about hot tea vs. cold tea. Now, I think I've solved the problem myself. After rummaging through the kitchen cabinets and luckily not breaking anything, I found a personal sized teapot and cup (but I just used the tea pot part) and steeped about two and a half cups worth of tea in this little teapot.

It was the perfect size. 

Not only did my tea stay warm and consistent in steeping taste (is that a thing?), but I was able to indulge in another cup and a half, effectively satisfying all tea cravings for the night, over a few hours. WITHOUT HAVING TO REBOIL WATER. #firstworldproblems, right?
At this point, you're probably thinking, oh my goodness, where is this Felicia's rant going about tea all over again?

So I'll summarize today's metaphor.
Personal tea pot. Solves problems of cold tea, and too hot tea, and lonely tea cup (you). Because instead of boiling water for another tea cup, and waiting for more tea, you just pour it out from the personal teapot.
Self-sufficiency is what I call it. Just don't Oxford Dictionary that.
And while this metaphor is 100% flawed and has many loopholes that I have not yet taken the time to work out, I'm at the point where I don't give a sugar cube. Not because I don't add sugar to my tea and have never actually seen a sugar cube, but because it makes sense in my head and that's all that matters. 
Got the point, yet?

Third and final thought, just incase you're still reading and didn't give up after the first thought:

You are complete, in yourself, and being alone when you think you should be somewhere else does not matter. Sometimes we just need one cup of tea, just a little time to ourselves, before we're ready to just back into the world. Other times, we need a few cups of tea, without worrying about too cold, too hot, and oh-I-have-to-boil-more-now (or what other people think of our watermelon outfits). We all need to take time for ourselves, and if that means finding time for personal teapot time, then that time is time well spent.

Felicia
xx

P.S. I've seen these cute little personal teapots everywhere in grocery stores, so grab one next time there's a sale if you have room in your kitchen, and aren't a hoarder like me. The coolest ones have a tea cup on the bottom, and the teapot sits right on top of the cup.

The Blueberry Green Tea

Some of us, including me, are creatures of habit, and we take pleasure in our routines. Signs you are a creature of habit:

1. You have a regular "go-to" drink rather than picking the daily special. 
2. Choosing aforementioned daily special requires a pep talk and convincing one's self to be adventurous. 
3. You enjoy the daily special, after convincing yourself to "try something new," and consider getting it next time. 
4. BUT when next time rolls around, you go back to your regular drink. 
5. And it always seems to taste better. 

One of my favourite ways to drink tea is your average black tea with milk. Be it Orange Pekoe or some fancy "Awake" tea from Starbucks, it tastes almost-close-to-pretty-much the same. Occasionally I venture out and drink green tea to feel healthy, honey lemon tea when I'm feeling under the weather, or try those interesting passion-fruit-mango-with-peppermint-spiced-chai tea lattes when I'm feeling - you guessed it! Adventurous. 

So what draws us back to our favourite things? Comfort. Predictability. Comfort in predictability. 

In comparison, what draws us to try new things? Maybe we try to convince ourselves by breaking habits that aren't necessarily good or bad, we are more interesting people, since it is less predictable. Perhaps we even think of ourselves as less worthy, since our love for habits and knowing what to expect makes us "boring." Or maybe, we don't even have a reason, and are just drawn to embracing change less often than others, but with gritted teeth a firm grip on what we can be sure of. 

Where am I going with this? 

Today, I thought I would be take a small step out of my comfort zone. Instead of regular tea, I had blueberry green tea. It's not quite the game changer a pomegranate-ginseng-banana-chocolate-white tea would be. But still, it was a change. And changing up my tea today made me think of our interactions with that special someone you just can't seem to get rid of (and secretly don't want to). 

We go back to the same person over and over sometimes. Why? In my recently conducted study on.. myself.. my conclusion is that we crave the comfort and predictability of this person's reactions and conversations with and to us, the same way we look forward to our favourite drinks. We know they* will love us, and continue to love us, as long as we continue to come back. It seems like a legitimate reason, no? Until the tea/drink/person starts to give us stomachaches. And I mean, keep-you-up-all-night stomach aches. Or heartaches. 

See, this is the point where we're supposed to change our regular drink and go find something new. So for a few weeks, months, we do that. And peppermint tea, blueberry green tea, pumpkin spice latte tea is starting to taste great. But then you get a whiff of the black tea with milk and BOOM, it just sets off the craving. Taking a break from the person causing us heartache is a good idea in the beginning, but after seeing or hearing from them from time away, you are flooded with memories and comfort. And I get you, I do. It's the most comforting thing in the world to go back to them and know exactly what they will say, what they will do and how you will feel after. And often, we forget about the heart-stomachaches. I cannot claim to be a relationship expert, looking at my one failed relationship. I can, however, claim to be a master at boiling water for tea. The problem lies in picking the tea. 

What do you do now? The water is boiling hot and ready to go. 

Me? I always go back to the same tea (person), the same pattern. I crave the predictability, and I justify breaking out my habits by the occasional adventurous decisions to try different teas. I also recognize that one day, I have to break this pattern, or I will consistently get stomach-heartaches. Today, it was late and I was tired, and I had all the excuses in the world ready to go. I reached for the black tea.

But I chose blueberry green tea. 

And you know what? 

It was exactly what I needed. 

Felicia

xo

*Felicia's note: Although "he or she" is grammatically correct, Felicia has used "they," since she thinks it sounds better in her head. 

The Burnt-Tongue Syndrome

How many times do we burn our tongue from being too eager to take that first sip of tea?

Today, I'm thinking it's been one time too many. I mean, it's not like we don't know the water was boiling 3 minutes ago, and from elementary school science we all remember boiling water is 100 degrees Celsius. So why do we still think we can avoid the burn?

In love, there is always the special one that you go back to. He's "the one," you're convinced. But when you remember all the times you got burned by the scalding hot temperatures of your passion and love for each other, you'll remember why you told yourself again and again: stop going back to him when it ends with your pain.

This is like burning your tongue., or as I'd like to call it, the Burnt-Tongue Syndrome.

You love the tea, but you always jump right into it and get lost in the overwhelming smell of - mmmmm tea leaves - and take the first sip too early, then, YOU GET BURNED. You curse! Promise yourself you'll never do it again and you'll be patient, but what happened tomorrow? Same thing.

And what's the worst part? The burn has its after effects.
Your tongue feels numb, you can't taste anything. Doesn't that sound like your mind's response to getting hurt by that special guy? You lay in bed - okay, I may be writing this while in bed - and you don't want to talk to anyone or feel anything - okay, I may not be Social Sally but it's a Sunday morning right now! - so basically, you're feeling the after effects of the disastrous hangout with the special guy you always go back to.And what was my excuse this time?

It's the same old justification: I thought this time was different. Well you know what, ladies? It's not. It never is. Because guys are like boiling water for your tea. They boil at the same temperature every time. It won't change. You will still have to wait until the tea cools before you take a sip, no matter how many times you've had it or how much you love this particular tea (or guy). And you will always, always, always get burned if you jump right back into it. And suffer the after effects. And hold an ice cube to your tongue hoping it won't get stuck there.

So what's my conclusion? Jumping into the boiling hot water of love and never learning your lesson will give you the same result every time. Because boiling water will never change it's temperature, then boys will be boys, so it's up to you to decide how many times you get burned before you blow on the tea to cool it down with patience… Or throw it out the window and crack open the iced tea.

Felicia 

xx

Colour the rainy, cold days.

On a cold day like today, where I am, it's time to bundle up and grab those scarves, hats and mitts. It's hard to stay positive sometimes when it's cold and rainy, and use the age-old excuse: blame it on the w-w-w-w-weather. 

And thus was born my brilliant advice. When you wake up and look outside your window, and just KNOW it's going to be "one of those days," pick a colour. Then, open up your closet and find something with that colour. Then long and hard, in deep, deep thought... (Okay, who really has time for deep thoughts in the morning? Let's be serious, it'll be about 3 seconds of deep thought.) ...And tell yourself, "I will smile to myself, even if I'm alone and look totally creepy and weird, every time I see this colour today." Too easy? Alternate mantra: "I will smile to myself, and tell myself one happy thing, even if I'm alone and look totally creepy and weird, every time I see this colour today." I KNOW it sounds so cheesy and lame, but I tried it and it worked. I promise. 

I chose pink. My scarf was pink, and since it was cold, I knew it would be hanging 'round my neck all day long. Every time I looked down to write my notes in class BAM! There is was. Now, I started drawing smiley faces on my notes instead, because apparently my hand-eye-face-coordination is a little off, but you won't have that problem. I hope. 

C'mon ladies, every time you walk past a window, check yourself out and look at that colour and grin like the freaking Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland (Disney version, not the new creepy version). Every snapchat, every selfie (yes, I know how many you take), every look in the mirror because women's bladders are entirely too small to let us hold anything larger than a medium Timmies.. Every single time, I want you to see that colour and smile. 

And that, is my positive, quick, hamburger helper solution to rainy, cold days and moods that feel like rainy, cold days. And a hot cup of tea, of course. 

Felicia 
xx

Love like a hot cup of tea.

As I was drinking my hot cup of blueberry green tea while getting through some reading for school, I thought about how nice it was to have a hot cup of tea. See, usually, I make my tea then forget about it and by the time I remember to drink it, the tea's gone cold. I enjoyed it, then as I got into my book, forgot about it. 
Now you all know what's coming next. My tea got cold. It had this metallic, bitter taste, not the sweet, blueberry green tea taste I had enjoyed an hour ago. It was the kind of taste that made me purse my lips like I had just downed tequila and put the lemon in the shot glass. Yeah, that kind of taste. And since I've been a little nostalgic *cough*lookingupoldpicturesofmeandmyex*cough* lately, cold tea made me think of relationships.
See, when the hot water is first poured into the mug and hits the tea bag and a lovely, clear brown or greenish water appears, it's like the first few weeks of love. It's changing and it's refreshing. Like that first sip of hot tea, you sigh, you smile, and your chest is filled with warmth. 
You're happy. 
You take a few sips and enjoy the hot tea - it's the honeymoon stage of your new relationship. Ouch! Too hot, you burned your tongue. But that's okay, you can still taste the tea, so you take a break, then continue sipping away, more carefully. This is clearly the part when something in the relationship goes wrong - a first fight, a break of trust.. After a while you've got two choices: continue sipping the tea as it slowly gets colder, or down it while its hot like you're a parched camel in the desert. 
Now what? Now you have cold tea or a burned throat. In my case, I have cold tea. And another decision looms: throw it out, or gulp down the bitter, cold tea. As for the relationship? Endure the cold, dying love that was once a warm relationship or bite the bullet and end things. 
Let me tell you one thing. If you try to endure the bitter tea, you won't enjoy it but you'll think, "Hey this is better than wasting it!" But then you won't like the tea and you will become resentful. Same as the relationship you're in. End it when the love ends, and you'll save both of you from resentful, spiteful messy aftermath of attempting to move on while really still holding onto that person. 
So after that long, confusing metaphor, you're like, what the heck does love have to do with tea? Love like a cup of hot tea, my friends. Enjoy it while its hot and know there's a time to throw it out when it starts to get cold. Then turn on the kettle, boil more water, and pour yourself another hot cup of tea. 
Or press a button on one of those snazzy Keurig machines. That works too.

Felicia
xx