Earl Me Grey

Do you ever feel as though you're the only one on your wavelength? Think, radio frequency.
Maybe you say something and no one catches on, so you just keep it to yourself, in your head, the next time you think you want to say something out loud.

Do you ever feel as though you're drinking Earl Grey from a tea bag, while everyone else is caught up with the latest loose leaf tea blend named after a cosy Christmas feeling?

Sometimes, I don't even feel as though I'm from this time. I was born in the wrong century. Yet here I am, using a computer and completely dependant on my phone. So, what's the deal, world?

No matter how hard I try to catch on to current things going on around me, it always feels like I'm a little out of step. At this point, it's very hard to think something is NOT wrong with you. I mean, sure in Grade 4 you coloured a shield representing all the things you liked to do with stick figures (who are we kidding, I drew full portraits) of the people with whom you are closest, and the big letters on the bulletin board said, "I AM UNIQUE." But aside from that, doesn't it seem like there is some common binding force that bonds people, and most times, you're just not feeling the bonding force field?

Sometimes, the definition of being "unique" feels more like an imprisonment to a lonely world, rather than a celebration of differences. Sometimes, it can be hard to remember the elementary school lessons on why we should see the things that make us different as good things, not bad things. Even in my twenties, I forget these lessons some days.

But, I like Earl Grey. It's not that I don't like change, it's that I don't feel I need to keep up with the times, to feel good about myself. I operate on a different frequency, and that's okay. It doesn't make me less, or weird, or even how we often use the word, "different." It just makes me, me.

Maybe I was born in the wrong century, or maybe I'm just me.

Maybe I'm on another wavelength, or maybe I'm just me.

Maybe no one understood what I said, but that's just me.

Maybe I didn't feel the binding forcefield of being unique, or maybe... I'm just me.

Maybe I like Earl Grey, and maybe, that's just me.

Earl me grey.


Felicia 
xo

The Blueberry Green Tea

Some of us, including me, are creatures of habit, and we take pleasure in our routines. Signs you are a creature of habit:

1. You have a regular "go-to" drink rather than picking the daily special. 
2. Choosing aforementioned daily special requires a pep talk and convincing one's self to be adventurous. 
3. You enjoy the daily special, after convincing yourself to "try something new," and consider getting it next time. 
4. BUT when next time rolls around, you go back to your regular drink. 
5. And it always seems to taste better. 

One of my favourite ways to drink tea is your average black tea with milk. Be it Orange Pekoe or some fancy "Awake" tea from Starbucks, it tastes almost-close-to-pretty-much the same. Occasionally I venture out and drink green tea to feel healthy, honey lemon tea when I'm feeling under the weather, or try those interesting passion-fruit-mango-with-peppermint-spiced-chai tea lattes when I'm feeling - you guessed it! Adventurous. 

So what draws us back to our favourite things? Comfort. Predictability. Comfort in predictability. 

In comparison, what draws us to try new things? Maybe we try to convince ourselves by breaking habits that aren't necessarily good or bad, we are more interesting people, since it is less predictable. Perhaps we even think of ourselves as less worthy, since our love for habits and knowing what to expect makes us "boring." Or maybe, we don't even have a reason, and are just drawn to embracing change less often than others, but with gritted teeth a firm grip on what we can be sure of. 

Where am I going with this? 

Today, I thought I would be take a small step out of my comfort zone. Instead of regular tea, I had blueberry green tea. It's not quite the game changer a pomegranate-ginseng-banana-chocolate-white tea would be. But still, it was a change. And changing up my tea today made me think of our interactions with that special someone you just can't seem to get rid of (and secretly don't want to). 

We go back to the same person over and over sometimes. Why? In my recently conducted study on.. myself.. my conclusion is that we crave the comfort and predictability of this person's reactions and conversations with and to us, the same way we look forward to our favourite drinks. We know they* will love us, and continue to love us, as long as we continue to come back. It seems like a legitimate reason, no? Until the tea/drink/person starts to give us stomachaches. And I mean, keep-you-up-all-night stomach aches. Or heartaches. 

See, this is the point where we're supposed to change our regular drink and go find something new. So for a few weeks, months, we do that. And peppermint tea, blueberry green tea, pumpkin spice latte tea is starting to taste great. But then you get a whiff of the black tea with milk and BOOM, it just sets off the craving. Taking a break from the person causing us heartache is a good idea in the beginning, but after seeing or hearing from them from time away, you are flooded with memories and comfort. And I get you, I do. It's the most comforting thing in the world to go back to them and know exactly what they will say, what they will do and how you will feel after. And often, we forget about the heart-stomachaches. I cannot claim to be a relationship expert, looking at my one failed relationship. I can, however, claim to be a master at boiling water for tea. The problem lies in picking the tea. 

What do you do now? The water is boiling hot and ready to go. 

Me? I always go back to the same tea (person), the same pattern. I crave the predictability, and I justify breaking out my habits by the occasional adventurous decisions to try different teas. I also recognize that one day, I have to break this pattern, or I will consistently get stomach-heartaches. Today, it was late and I was tired, and I had all the excuses in the world ready to go. I reached for the black tea.

But I chose blueberry green tea. 

And you know what? 

It was exactly what I needed. 

Felicia

xo

*Felicia's note: Although "he or she" is grammatically correct, Felicia has used "they," since she thinks it sounds better in her head. 

The Burnt-Tongue Syndrome

How many times do we burn our tongue from being too eager to take that first sip of tea?

Today, I'm thinking it's been one time too many. I mean, it's not like we don't know the water was boiling 3 minutes ago, and from elementary school science we all remember boiling water is 100 degrees Celsius. So why do we still think we can avoid the burn?

In love, there is always the special one that you go back to. He's "the one," you're convinced. But when you remember all the times you got burned by the scalding hot temperatures of your passion and love for each other, you'll remember why you told yourself again and again: stop going back to him when it ends with your pain.

This is like burning your tongue., or as I'd like to call it, the Burnt-Tongue Syndrome.

You love the tea, but you always jump right into it and get lost in the overwhelming smell of - mmmmm tea leaves - and take the first sip too early, then, YOU GET BURNED. You curse! Promise yourself you'll never do it again and you'll be patient, but what happened tomorrow? Same thing.

And what's the worst part? The burn has its after effects.
Your tongue feels numb, you can't taste anything. Doesn't that sound like your mind's response to getting hurt by that special guy? You lay in bed - okay, I may be writing this while in bed - and you don't want to talk to anyone or feel anything - okay, I may not be Social Sally but it's a Sunday morning right now! - so basically, you're feeling the after effects of the disastrous hangout with the special guy you always go back to.And what was my excuse this time?

It's the same old justification: I thought this time was different. Well you know what, ladies? It's not. It never is. Because guys are like boiling water for your tea. They boil at the same temperature every time. It won't change. You will still have to wait until the tea cools before you take a sip, no matter how many times you've had it or how much you love this particular tea (or guy). And you will always, always, always get burned if you jump right back into it. And suffer the after effects. And hold an ice cube to your tongue hoping it won't get stuck there.

So what's my conclusion? Jumping into the boiling hot water of love and never learning your lesson will give you the same result every time. Because boiling water will never change it's temperature, then boys will be boys, so it's up to you to decide how many times you get burned before you blow on the tea to cool it down with patience… Or throw it out the window and crack open the iced tea.

Felicia 

xx

Colour the rainy, cold days.

On a cold day like today, where I am, it's time to bundle up and grab those scarves, hats and mitts. It's hard to stay positive sometimes when it's cold and rainy, and use the age-old excuse: blame it on the w-w-w-w-weather. 

And thus was born my brilliant advice. When you wake up and look outside your window, and just KNOW it's going to be "one of those days," pick a colour. Then, open up your closet and find something with that colour. Then long and hard, in deep, deep thought... (Okay, who really has time for deep thoughts in the morning? Let's be serious, it'll be about 3 seconds of deep thought.) ...And tell yourself, "I will smile to myself, even if I'm alone and look totally creepy and weird, every time I see this colour today." Too easy? Alternate mantra: "I will smile to myself, and tell myself one happy thing, even if I'm alone and look totally creepy and weird, every time I see this colour today." I KNOW it sounds so cheesy and lame, but I tried it and it worked. I promise. 

I chose pink. My scarf was pink, and since it was cold, I knew it would be hanging 'round my neck all day long. Every time I looked down to write my notes in class BAM! There is was. Now, I started drawing smiley faces on my notes instead, because apparently my hand-eye-face-coordination is a little off, but you won't have that problem. I hope. 

C'mon ladies, every time you walk past a window, check yourself out and look at that colour and grin like the freaking Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland (Disney version, not the new creepy version). Every snapchat, every selfie (yes, I know how many you take), every look in the mirror because women's bladders are entirely too small to let us hold anything larger than a medium Timmies.. Every single time, I want you to see that colour and smile. 

And that, is my positive, quick, hamburger helper solution to rainy, cold days and moods that feel like rainy, cold days. And a hot cup of tea, of course. 

Felicia 
xx