- You have a regular "go-to" drink rather than picking the daily special.
- Choosing aforementioned daily special requires a pep talk and convincing one's self to be adventurous.
- You enjoy the daily special, after convincing yourself to "try something new," and consider getting it next time.
- BUT when next time rolls around, you go back to your regular drink.
- And it always seems to taste better.
One of my favourite ways to drink tea is your average black tea with milk. Be it Orange Pekoe or some fancy "Awake" tea from Starbucks, it tastes almost-close-to-pretty-much the same. Occasionally I venture out and drink green tea to feel healthy, honey lemon tea when I'm feeling under the weather, or try those interesting passion-fruit-mango-with-peppermint-spiced-chai tea lattes when I'm feeling - you guessed it! Adventurous.
So what draws us back to our favourite things? Comfort. Predictability. Comfort in predictability.
In comparison, what draws us to try new things? Maybe we try to convince ourselves by breaking habits that aren't necessarily good or bad, we are more interesting people, since it is less predictable. Perhaps we even think of ourselves as less worthy, since our love for habits and knowing what to expect makes us "boring." Or maybe, we don't even have a reason, and are just drawn to embracing change less often than others, but with gritted teeth a firm grip on what we can be sure of.
Where am I going with this?
Today, I thought I would be take a small step out of my comfort zone. Instead of regular tea, I had blueberry green tea. It's not quite the game changer a pomegranate-ginseng-banana-chocolate-white tea would be. But still, it was a change. And changing up my tea today made me think of our interactions with that special someone you just can't seem to get rid of (and secretly don't want to).
We go back to the same person over and over sometimes. Why? In my recently conducted study on.. myself.. my conclusion is that we crave the comfort and predictability of this person's reactions and conversations with and to us, the same way we look forward to our favourite drinks. We know they* will love us, and continue to love us, as long as we continue to come back. It seems like a legitimate reason, no? Until the tea/drink/person starts to give us stomachaches. And I mean, keep-you-up-all-night stomach aches. Or heartaches.
See, this is the point where we're supposed to change our regular drink and go find something new. So for a few weeks, months, we do that. And peppermint tea, blueberry green tea, pumpkin spice latte tea is starting to taste great. But then you get a whiff of the black tea with milk and BOOM, it just sets off the craving. Taking a break from the person causing us heartache is a good idea in the beginning, but after seeing or hearing from them from time away, you are flooded with memories and comfort. And I get you, I do. It's the most comforting thing in the world to go back to them and know exactly what they will say, what they will do and how you will feel after. And often, we forget about the heart-stomachaches. I cannot claim to be a relationship expert, looking at my one failed relationship. I can, however, claim to be a master at boiling water for tea. The problem lies in picking the tea.
What do you do now? The water is boiling hot and ready to go.
Me? I always go back to the same tea (person), the same pattern. I crave the predictability, and I justify breaking out my habits by the occasional adventurous decisions to try different teas. I also recognize that one day, I have to break this pattern, or I will consistently get stomach-heartaches. Today, it was late and I was tired, and I had all the excuses in the world ready to go. I reached for the black tea.
But I chose blueberry green tea.
And you know what?
It was exactly what I needed.
Felicia
xo
*Felicia's note: Although "he or she" is grammatically correct, Felicia has used "they," since she thinks it sounds better in her head.
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